search for identity

Smoke went up from the whole earth, from the vapoury of oceans (212)
Their dark darting quivering bodies flying clearly against the sky
A dark flash, a swerve, a flutter of wings
Flying high and low but ever round and round
Their cry was shrill and clear and fine
They, unlike man, are in the order of their life and have not perverted that order by reason,
A sense of fear of the unknown moved in the heart (218-219)
Away then: it is time to go.
A voice spoke softly, bidding him to go and telling him that his friendship was coming to an end (239)
To discover the mode of life or of art whereby your spirit could express itself in unfettered freedom
Freedom! (240)
Using for my defense the only arms I allow myself to use, silence, exile, cunning—
Alone, quite, alone…not even one friend (241)
Away! Away!
Shaking the wings of their exultant and terrible youth
Welcome, O life!
Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead. (247)

This passage, collected from quotes throughout the end of chapter 5 of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, encompasses the journey of Stephen in his pursuit of happiness and fulfillment of the yearning in his soul. The picture of birds soaring in the sky reflects his passion to be free and to be released from his straining world. Yet in his life, he turns to extremes in order to find gratification. In his pursuit of prostitution to find another human to sin with him, Stephen chases after his lust. However, with his dissatisfaction, he turns to a monastery and practices religious piety and again fails to fulfill his desires to ultimately be free in himself. Stephen concludes he must leave and separate himself from the nets holding him captive. Although, if he aspires to fly life birds, why does he seek solitude? By disputing the support of a flock of birds, does Stephen try to completely disconnect himself from nature? His pursuit of happiness in his society fails when he pursues extreme ends, yet he ultimately follows a path toward loneliness in order to free his soul.

happiness in work

To me, Andy Goldsworthy epitomizes the ultimate success of happiness. So often people talk about what job they plan to pursue based on the income and assume gratification will accompany wealth. Especially now, contemplating what area I want to study in college and goals I have following my education, the movie Rivers and Tides is such an encouragement to see someone actually live out a dream. Although his art may seem pointless to numerous people, the opportunity to work in his passion every day is something countless others lack. I often fear I will end up working in an office building at a computer all day long and never accomplish my dreams of working for National Geographic or living in Africa for an extended medical mission trip. Goldsworthy, however, expresses himself through fleeting creations in nature. Even though his work is often destroyed by the wind or water or other elements, the moment of creation and developing a masterpiece instigates a thrilling fulfillment which, to me, encompasses happiness.

“Ideas must be put to the test. That's why we make things, otherwise they would be no more than ideas. There is often a huge difference between an idea and its realization.”

“My sculpture can last for days or a few seconds — what is important to me is the experience of making. I leave all my work outside and often return to watch it decay.”

“As you grow older you realize that art has an enormous effect. It's frightening sometimes to think of the effect that we can have.”

“Beauty is what sustains things, although beauty is underwritten by pain and fear.”

“Art is not a career – it's a life.”

“Effort…to make something look effortless.”

“The real work is change.”




futile delight

A rejected love, genuine and true
In return for shallow praise,
False honor, selfish pride.
One great king confused with ambition
Seeking happiness in others’ lies.

An illegitimate son pursuing fortune,
Revenge for a past
Unfair and broken.
Dissolution of family because of one
Seeking happiness through innumerable lies.

Yet with what result?
The destruction of all and separation of ties.
All innocence vanished
In the path of selfish pursuits.
And what happiness left?

None with the dead.

(King Lear)