search for identity

Smoke went up from the whole earth, from the vapoury of oceans (212)
Their dark darting quivering bodies flying clearly against the sky
A dark flash, a swerve, a flutter of wings
Flying high and low but ever round and round
Their cry was shrill and clear and fine
They, unlike man, are in the order of their life and have not perverted that order by reason,
A sense of fear of the unknown moved in the heart (218-219)
Away then: it is time to go.
A voice spoke softly, bidding him to go and telling him that his friendship was coming to an end (239)
To discover the mode of life or of art whereby your spirit could express itself in unfettered freedom
Freedom! (240)
Using for my defense the only arms I allow myself to use, silence, exile, cunning—
Alone, quite, alone…not even one friend (241)
Away! Away!
Shaking the wings of their exultant and terrible youth
Welcome, O life!
Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead. (247)

This passage, collected from quotes throughout the end of chapter 5 of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, encompasses the journey of Stephen in his pursuit of happiness and fulfillment of the yearning in his soul. The picture of birds soaring in the sky reflects his passion to be free and to be released from his straining world. Yet in his life, he turns to extremes in order to find gratification. In his pursuit of prostitution to find another human to sin with him, Stephen chases after his lust. However, with his dissatisfaction, he turns to a monastery and practices religious piety and again fails to fulfill his desires to ultimately be free in himself. Stephen concludes he must leave and separate himself from the nets holding him captive. Although, if he aspires to fly life birds, why does he seek solitude? By disputing the support of a flock of birds, does Stephen try to completely disconnect himself from nature? His pursuit of happiness in his society fails when he pursues extreme ends, yet he ultimately follows a path toward loneliness in order to free his soul.